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behindxmyxeyes

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[08 Mar 2007|01:16pm]
why is everything have to happen at once my mind is running on overdrive and i cant keep up. to many thing are happing.
13432 have| //felt my pain

[16 Nov 2006|06:43am]
[ mood | numb ]
[ music | Eliudnir-an autumn breeze ]

the feeling of being alone really has to be the worst thing ever mois being sent away for more chemo they found lukmia in his blod again ive been so fucking angry and sad the last 2 days i wish there was somthing i could do i dont understand how things like that can happen to the greatest of people.I work at radio shack now or should i say live there since im contintly working.helps back together but shits still the same as last time and its really fucking annoying one man band here i come! lol fuck i love the new Eliudnir songs there amazing if you havent yet cheak us out i play bass www.myspace.com/Eliudnir and help has new songs up www.myspace.com/helplv

13432 have| //felt my pain

EUROPE [17 Sep 2006|01:42pm]
fucking europe is so amazing oh my god rome was like the craziest place ever i took lots of pics and am going to upload them later i love how i can drink all i want here and have no problom the woman are amazing there all so fineeee its hella tight ummmm yeah i got to see the vatican that shit was sick as fuck.....but still.....fuck jesus lol ok ummmm what else ive learned a little bit of italian by talking to locals wich is cool i know how to order beer ask for discounts and other things its really easy its just like spanish right now im in some town in northern spain i have no fucking idea what its called i thought i was going to madrid and ended up here so tonight should be a adventure oh and this time change really really sucks its killing me i miss all my friends tons and hope to be able to talk to you all soon my cell phone was soposed to work out here but it ended up not so shit sucks.Jay Jay if you read this i hope you know i miss you dearly and wish you could be here to experiance this trip with me and understand how it is to be hung over becouse of to much free wine. im going to put a blog up with this and try to get some money to come online again this exchange rate really sucks for 90 us i get about 60 euro depending where i go i havent spent much money just on drinks
13432 have| //felt my pain

[05 Aug 2006|10:12pm]
Summer is almost gone and then its life for me.......I leave for europe on sept 10th with no money that is kinda freaking me out but im sure everything will work out for the best. I feel like somthing is missing I dont know what but somthing is.........
33432 have| //felt my pain

[22 Jul 2006|02:08am]
man my birthday was amazing i got a tattoo!!! i drove around on the strip with david,clayton,klinton and jay jay we met up with tak and natalie then met up with emma but we randomly ran inot homless mike brandon and some other squatter kids who i havent seen in forever lol well yeah i bought a pack of cig and dindet get carded!!! i was pissed but now im getting carded lol gayyyy but yeah I am in love with my tattoo I ended up getting Human=Garbage around my wrist since dystopia has to be one of my all time fav bands and it helped me through so many hard times and so many memories with lising to that record but yeah here are a complation of the pics into one gif......its on my wrist


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

photo bucket fucked up the gif so i will upload more pics later
23432 have| //felt my pain

[17 Jul 2006|10:38pm]
so my mom comes in the room crying and she showed me all these pics from when i was born untill nowand she is like your 18 now
and i still rember holding you in my arms then she kissed my forehead and walked away.........damn im 18 in 1 hour and 22 min.....fuck..........
13432 have| //felt my pain

[01 Jul 2006|05:35am]
so i hate nights like these its 5:30am and i havent fallen asleep i have so many things on my mind like what im going to do with my life that im fainly done with high school it seems like im being forced to grow up overnight but no one is forcing me but myself i just wish i could go back to kg and start school all over again.fuck.........life is out to get me and my birthday is in 17 days i will fianly be 18 first thing im doing is getting a pack of 27's and hitting up the tattoo parler im getting my sleeve started im hopeing for a 3 hour session at least if i can afford it.
13432 have| //felt my pain

[25 Jun 2006|08:40am]
As bad as shit have been going in my life latly days like last night make me remeber there are good points and low points yesterday was a good one we got really shit faced my little jay jay finaly drank she got drunk as fuck i got drunk as fuck everyone was drunk and smoking hookah playing tip cup and beer pong or somthing it was fun.I'm still jobless and my mom cought me with pot agian wich sucks cuz it was bomb shit......yeah i think she dosnet really mind it that much more or less just wants to know how I get it I think I need to smoke her out lol.I really wish I still had some of the good friend ships I used to have I mean when somone used to be your best friend and then you see them and all that is said is a simple hello it makes you think what happend........yeah im really tierd fuck trying to sleep when you get home draw for a hour and watch the sunrise.....sun light sucks......I want sleep.....ramble ramble ramble
//felt my pain

so tonight was awsome [16 Jun 2006|01:12am]
yeah it was i really think nights like these make life great i mean i couldeve been a little better if somone was there but i duno it felt so right? and right now everything feels right it seems like my life is finaly coming together that im actuly growing up in 32 days il be 18 and i couldent be happye


yeah and im crushin on somone and she knows who she is and yeah life is fucking good


and yeah im still a lil high


but hey that dosnet change anyhting now does it?















ps. tom frampton is AMAZING GO DOWNLOAD HIM
//felt my pain

[26 Mar 2006|11:42pm]
if you really want to know how ive been feeling lisin and watch this video of a song me and freddy wrote it explains what i feel without any words


http://youtube.com/watch?v=ackwQb73j4c
//felt my pain

Wow and i thought things couldent get worse [25 Feb 2006|10:25pm]
[ mood | crushed ]
[ music | The Mars volta -the window ]

fuck they think my friend moi has Leukemia hes been sick the last few mounths with wierd bumps growing all over his body and hes been really tierd and flu like symptoms and so he got cheaked out and thats what they told him man i wnat to die right now he is one of the nicest people ive ever met in my life he hates no one who is just a amazing person a great guitar player and great drummer one of the nicest people ive ever gotten then chance to be in a band with fuck i dont want anything to happen to him i dont know what id do man fuck........life sucsk

13432 have| //felt my pain

[11 Feb 2006|10:51pm]
I feel so many mixed emotions going through me the past week.Im in a new band again im playing bass for eliudnir its so hard for me to remember the spelling lol its a black metal band moi chris and lui san are in it and this guy rodger is going to sing for us we had a practice all together about 2 weeks ago it sounded amazing im still learning the songs there really advanced for the leval im at since i dont play bass as my main instrament but there pushing me and its helping being around the positive atmophere that we have playing together.....oh we also have a practice space behind boulder station yeah so i wrote this as i big huuuuuuuuuuge run on sentenec but im lazy :) if you want to hear us here is a link its one of there old recordings http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=13209685 and i swere they had to put the worse possible pic of me on this thing
//felt my pain

[29 Jan 2006|02:49pm]
so last night was way crazy i got super super high we had like 5 bowls of some pretty bomb chronic and then the rest of the night i was trippin but then got hella chill jay jay drove mandy,frank and i home and the whole time were screaming along to against me it was amazing we got here and chilled then smoke i bit more i think then we went to bed like at 2:30 ish woke up and had a wake n bake sesh so im feelin good all togthere i fucking loved this weekend
//felt my pain

[25 Jan 2006|10:06pm]
ugh waight training at school is killling me ive never been this sore in my life.yeah somone like gimmie some loving hahaha
23432 have| //felt my pain

[19 Jan 2006|08:59pm]
fuckkk i love shoping :-/ haha ive been doing it way to much latly but its not my money so im sorta ok with it.I cant wait til im done with night school so I can work agian and make some money and what not agian I miss always having money on me to do shit
23432 have| //felt my pain

[14 Jan 2006|11:24am]
mannn last night was pretty cool i went to sahara's it was kinda wierd since i dont really know most of the kids there so i smoked and then smoked with kate then with shelco damn i was fucking high then i went ouside and smoked again and my dad came with jay jay to pick me up and i dident know what the fuck was going on and jay jay was asking me all these questions when i got home like what hand is the statue of liberity holding the torch and wierd ass shit and she told me if i pass she will make me mac n cheese but she didnet so i went to bed.
23432 have| //felt my pain

[08 Jan 2006|12:29am]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | the koys-strange sound ]

so things have been wierd latly all it is for me is school every day 12 hours a day i really wish i had never fucked up in school so i wouldnet be in this mess im in but il graduate on time this year so thats all that matters.im comparing prices on houses and stuff right now im moving out in july i already talked to my parents and everything im planning on renting for a few months and work on building up my credit then looking for a house to buy and have my mom as a co signer.man its gonna be crazy me living on my own kinda scary lol.well health wise this past month has been wierd i get sick then beter then worse then better and im always a little bit sick.Ive also been feeling really out of it like i cant think straight and my vision gets all blurry but my doctors say im fine it freaks me out when i think about it.well im off to find things to do.

43432 have| //felt my pain

[11 Dec 2005|11:22am]
So last night was hella bad ass watching the aquabats blazed is amazing holy shit they were so good live and i hate them so much when i have to lisin to them but last night damn had to be one of the best shows of 05
13432 have| //felt my pain

[28 Nov 2005|09:57pm]
i wear my scars like the rings on a pimp
i live life like the captain of a sinking ship
the one thing that i can guarantee
i'm like a stepping razor, i suggest you stay fair with me
been payin dues for a decade plus,
before that i was just another face on the bus
tappin my foot, to the beat on the radio
dreamin 'bout the mic and the money and the ladies
oh mom, i promise im gonna be large
someday im gonna stop tryin to borrow your car
gonna go far, with charisma and skill
until they put my face on a million dollar bill
atmosphere, its just a ten letter word
discretion is the name of my cement-feathered bird
and if you didnt hear, fuck whatevers heard
i think you got the sickness i suggest you get it cured
caught up in the mix, of a bottle full of fix
im gonna hobble down the street 'til i reach knob creek
its not that i dont like you, i just dont wanna speak
you fuckin freak
now keep your days out my week
the world keeps a balance, through mathematics
defined by whatever youve added and subtracted
im pushin on the hammer, to trigger the brain
embrace how i live it, god loves ugly

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
//felt my pain

[30 Oct 2005|08:49pm]
10 years ago I was: 7 thinking about how much ive grown up and that I want to run away with jay jay went to school and hated it never did my homwork

5 years ago I was: 12 years old in middle school started smoking pot for the first time got in with the wrong crowed and started fucking up.I still hate school yet middle school starts to show me how people really are


1 year ago I was: 16 was a junior was hanging out with stephanie,fat mike,kudus,midget my closest friends thinking it would always be like that but i guess shit happens people leave people change,people grow up


Yesterday I:sat at home and thought about alot of things


5 snacks I enjoy:
-doritos
-chedder munchies
-cashews
-platanos
-rice

5 songs I know all the words to: i duno it depends haha


5 things I would do with 100 million dollars:
-give it to people who need it
-move to nicaragua to live on my farm
-help people
-make positive change
- i duno

5 favorite TV shows:
-historys mystories
- the simpsons
-family guy
-furturama
-bernie mac

5 bad habits:
-licking my lips till there chaped
-being parionid
-trusting to much yet not enough of people
-not beliving in myself
-having no motivation

5 biggest joys:
-playing music
-playing music
-playing music
-playing music
-being aroudn people who actuly care about me
//felt my pain

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